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The perils of adulthood

Recently, my friend's seven-year-old son announced to her that he couldn't wait to be a grown-up, as he could then do whatever he wanted. She tried to explain to him that it wasn't quite that simple. It got me thinking about all of the serious disadvantages that are inherent in being an adult:

Now that I live in a place where I can get cable (or DirecTV), and now that I can watch as much TV as I want, MTV doesn't play any videos.

Now that I can eat candy whenever the hell I want, I no longer have the metabolism to do so without turning into a blimp.

Cussing just isn't as much fun when it doesn't shock anyone.

Now that I can watch any horror movie available--on DVD, no less!--I've discovered that they mostly suck.

I can now stay up as late as I want. Unfortunately, I also have to get up in the morning.

Wearing cowboy boots with a miniskirt is no longer "cute."

I no longer get gold stars for every book I read.

I can now have as many pets as I want, but I'm also cognizant of how little my cats want to deal with a new kitten.

I can turn the heat up as high as I want. Unfortunately, I also have to pay the power bill.

Nobody is telling me "Because I said so!" The down side is that I could occasionally stand to hear it.

On the plus side, this is MY house, and as long as I'm living under MY roof, I live by MY rules. I also can leave the dishes in the sink as long as I want.

Now that I can drive wherever I want, gas is $4.03/gallon.